Malicious Minds

I am beaten to the ground, trampled all over, being fed sand by my most hated arch nemesis - sore throat. For a while it disappeared and showed no sign of existence to me. Then recently, it started coming back in a vaguely manner.

And suddenly…

It struck me with all the power it harvested during its absence. Today I got the worse sore throat ever. I’m beginning to think it’s strep throat. Ugh.

Oh god…I seriously hate sore throats. They’re the worse thing you can get. It’s so blardy irritating. Plus I’ve got a fever too, not slight, I think I’m pretty hot. As in literally. =(

I can’t swallow water without wincing in pain. I can’t feel my throat as I’ve taken so many lozenges to numb it. Oh my goddddd…why oh why me??? What did I do????

I’ve been a good girl, I studied so hard fo SPM (okay maybe not that hard but harder than usual) and I cleared my room all by myself without my mom pestering me to. Sigh. I’m going to say something I NEVER EVER approve of. I’m only saying it because it relates to my current condition now. So enjoy and savour the moment when I say this:-

LIFE SUX TO DA MAX! (AT THIS MOMENT THAT IS)

So it’s finally over. I’m officially not any school student anymore.
I’ve finally finished high school. My last subject was Biology and it
was pretty easy except that I made an OMFG#$%$^%y^%$ mistake. We were
supposed to choose 2 essay questions out of 4. So I did the first one
alright. Second one I was rushing for time since there was only 45
minutes left. So I did the first part of question 8 and did the second
part for question 9. I was supposed to do BOTH parts of question 9. =/
10 marks gone. But out of total 200, it’s only 5 marks. So not that big
a damage I guess.

Anyway since it was our last day, we took a couple of pics.

Look! My school actually have ducklings. =P

And then we had some of others to sign their names on our baju kurung sleeves. Forgot to take a picture of that, it’s in the washing machine now.We used permanent marker.

That night we went for a mamak session. We ordered so much and stuffed ourselves. Our bill came up to RM45. And it was only mamak food only you know. Lol. The cheese naan was awesome. I want more!

I went to bed almost dead that night. Finally was able to go to sleep without worrying about any homework or project or exam the next day.

The next day, I got up around 11.30am. It was the first time I got up at the time in months. I woke up a few times before that thinking that I had to go study before remembering that SPM has officially ended for me. So I thought that since I really am done with high school, I might as well clear my old books.

There, that is my room flooded with all my textbooks, reference books, activity books and exercise books. Gonna recycle most of them. And sell some of my old storybooks. Anyone interested in buying Sweet Valley Junior High and Sweet Valley High books let me know.

———————————————————-

Mmm since school has ended for me. I’m wondering what I can do during my three months while waiting for the results. I could go to the gym two times a week, go for daily jogs (if possible), watch movies, play games, write more, and see Teddy more. =D

Ooh yeah, today I went to register for my driving license! Next week gonna go for the 5 hour lecture. Oh god. Five whole hours. Good thing I’ll be going with my friends. They’ve also given me the book to study for the "undang-undang" test. There’s 500 questions and only 50 will come out in the exam. Everyone tells me it’s easy but I don’t know. =/ What if I fail? It’ll be so embarassinggggg. Ugh.

—————————

Mmm I still can’t believe SPM is over. Time flies by so fast. I wish it took a slow stroll. (I know I say that every year) I’m a little nervous and excited to know the results but it’s still a long way to go. It’s only the 2nd day after SPM ended for me yet it feels like such a long time has passed. I guess that’s a good thing. It means I’ll feel as though my 3 months break is much longer. Oh well. High school is over and now I’ll be making my way to college. That’s a jungle out there. =/

Goodbye innocent and dreamy world of high school.

It’s Saturday and my last paper will be on Monday. It’ll be Biology, the most irritating subject to study because there’s so much to read. =/ But since it’s gonna be my last ever Biology paper I’m gonna give it its last push ever.

I actually can’t believe I’m only 2 days away from finishing high school. Time does fly indeed. After this, it’s gonna fly even quicker. Pretty soon I’ll be half way through college and then I’ll be working… I don’t wanna grow up. >.<

Mmm but way before that, I have a prom to look forward to! It’ll be on 19th December in Berjaya Times Square Hotel. I wonder how the food will be like… Mmm.

I have a problem though. I have no idea what to wear. The night is called "La Masquerade" which means we would have to dress in some sort of costume OR in formal clothes with a mask. After Biology I only have like 3 weeks to get my dress and also for my date. It’s easy dressing the guy, the bigger problem is finding the perfect dress for the girl. Sigh. And also I have to find someone able to come over to my house to do our hair and makeup.

My mom and I were trying to figure out according to what theme I should dress. She thinks I should dress 70s. But I don’t know, where do we find 70s clothes?

Ugh, it’s such a headache deciding what to wear. I’ve already kinda have an idea how I want my date to dress. The only problem is me now. =S

Sigh. Best I put this aside first and finish off Biology first. Only 2 days to go. Can’t wait.

It’s ironic that while I’m sitting for the papers I wished there were more time given but in between exam days I wished time would go by faster. Like today during Add Maths Paper 2 I didn’t have sufficient time to go and try again at questions I left half-done. And now I keep wishing SPM would end faster. It’s only 2 weeks long and 1 week has gone by already and it felt like a bloody 1 month.

Argh, quick SPM be gone and done with. I can hardly waittt. I’ll worry 3 months later when the results are out. Hopefully I meet my minimum target and (my parents’ too).

I just went to see the doctor because I’ve had this cut/ulcer in my gums for the past week. The clinic I went is pretty well-known because it started with this SIkh doctor who can speak Hokkien, now he only comes during the nights on weekdays. Once I went the doctor on duty was this hot Indian/Sikh guy. He looked late 20s to 30s and he dressed so casually that it looked seriously unfitting for a doctor. He wore jeans with a shirt. And he was hot. plus he’s a doctor. How often do you see a hot male doctor?

Anyway about just now, the doctor in charge was this old Indian guy. When I entered the room, he just stared at me and looked as though he was so bored with his job. I mean aren’t doctors suppose to greet you with an assuring smile that he’ll make everything better for you? This guy all he did was stare at me with this look. Kinda almost dirty/horny look.

I knew I shouldn’t have worn that V-necked T-shirt. Ugh.

I got really uneasy in my chair and tried not to look at him in the eye for too long. I couldn’t look at him! He had this sorta look in his face that made me feel insecure. Then, he proceeded to check my heartbeat and stuff. I guess that’s standard procedure right? But oh my god, he got so close to me and had his eyes on mine. I refused to look at him and looked to the other side.

After that he asked me how old I am and I said 17. He said, "Oh, big girl already huh?"

Now what is that supposed to mean? =S

When I got up to leave, I pulled up my short because it was a little loose. And I caught him looking at my butt. I quickly ran out of the room.

In the waiting area, my mom said luckily she entered the doctor’s room with me or else he would have molested me. So she does agree that he looks like some sick pedo! Oh god. Now it’s not even safe for hot girls to go see their GPs?

Lol. I wouldn’t mind though if he was hot. =P

P.S. SPM ends in approximately one week. I can’t bloody wait.

I’m in my 3rd day of SPM and have already finish BM, English, History and Maths. Overall, so far so good. But the worse has yet to come. The real challenge would be next week when facing Add Maths, Physics, Chemistry and Biology. Ugh. I can’t wait to get it done and over with.

I’m a little worried for the English essay though. Not sure if the reader would really get what I’m trying to convey or not. I’m afraid he/she would find my essay making no sense. =S But oh well, I can’t do anything right now to change it.

I feel really exhausted even if it’s only been 3 days. The first 2 days, the last paper ended at 4.30pm. And luckily today at 12.30pm. Came home and took a long nap. Even now I’m already feeling tired. This early, can you believe it? =/

Mmm I think I’ll go to bed. Been studying add maths for the past 3 hours. My head can’t take anymore or else I’m gonna have to sit for my next paper with fragments of my head missing from the exploding of my brain. Ugh. Can’t imagine that. Nitez.

There’s only 10 days to go. The last time I posted about this it was 21 days to go. And now…TEN! Oh god…I’m so gonna die.

However, there’s a part of me thats feeling excited. A part that can’t wait for it all to end. The part that’s vibrating with excitement and anticipation to have a taste of what’s it like to not have to worry about studying at all during that short 3 months. I admit it. I am dying to get my freedom. I hunger for the liberty to be able to do whatever I wish to. I want to be able to make my own decisions for the present and the future.

But as much as I am desiring for freedom, I don’t let that impair my ability to judge and rationalize. I am aware that if I were to be impulsive and rebellious I would only destroy the chances I have to be what I really want to be in the future. All these needs for freedom and liberty to do whatever we please are a temporary feeling that would fade gradually over time. But if we were to take the bait at an earlier point, then one day we’re gonna regret.

It’s just not worth it to throw everything away just so you can experience something for short while. Maybe while it’s still hot you would enjoy and revel in every moment but as the fire dies you would then realise it’s not that fun anymore. All kinds of problems would arise and if you’re lucky you’ll survive through it. And if not, you’re doomed to hard work all lifelong. Don’t even think of retirement plans.

Oops…I think I’m getting a little carried away. I was not supposed to spend more than 15 minutes on this. And it’s already way more than that. Sigh. Going back to the books now. Gotta give it the hardest push every during the coming 10 days. But honestly, I think I feel ready. I think. =D