Malicious Minds

On 30th August my parents and I went to Putrajaya to watch the international fireworks competition. That night it was gonna be Japan fireworks and judging by that we were all expecting an awesome show.

It started at midnight and we reached there at around 8:30pm. For three and a half hour we just sat and stood around waiting. We weren’t the only ones, there were plenty of people who came before us.

And finally 11:55pm came. Those last five minutes felt longer than the three and a half hour. The entire show lasted for 25 minutes. I’m not sure if that was worth the three and a half hour wait but oh well here’s pictures:

That’s Gemilang Bridge

I like the last few ones the best

I didn’t see the fireworks by the other countries so I don’t know if Japan is any good but some people said that Japan did really good. Mmm…oh well. It ended at 12:30am and I got home at 2:30am. And that day I missed my nap so I was really exhausted when I got home.

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Mmm…how long has it been? Not even a month since Last Winter and I’ve already found a new band to favour. They’re called Kill Hannah. Pretty disturbing name if you ask me. Actually that was the reason why I didn’t download any of their songs when I first heard of them a while back. But yesterday I saw their band picture and thought like, "hey they look pretty hot." So I downloaded a few songs and mmm I lurve them. =D despite their name.

Lead singer Mat Devine is pretty hot. My type of hot. Not the blond hair, blue eye, tall, handsome and great body type. Hehe. It’s my dark, deep and emo type.

Love the hairrrrr. =P

I’ve gone back to listening to a little heavier stuff. For a while I was listening to more pop punk/rock like Boys Like Girls and Quietdrive. I mean I still do like those but the sound a bit too mainstream-ish. Their playing on radios now even. I don’t hate mainstream, it’s I just that I have a discerned taste in music =P. Lolz.

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That’s really my eye

Yesterday I got to see you again =). Although it was for a short time only but I still enjoyed it. We had dinner at Piccolo Mondo and I ended up stuffing myself with so much pasta and lasagna I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t wait to unhook my bra to ease my breathing tract. Lol.

Then, we went around looking for clothes for you to wear to work. And I got to pick one for you =P. Hehe. After that we had ice-cream and I had to spoon-feed you. Tsk tsk tsk.

That was it, pretty short time spent with you. But it was alright, still at least I got to see you. =D

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Last night after I got back by cab (we were forced to), I had to go to this meeting in the park. It was about the security issues of our housing area and my dad was like their leader. I find that kinda ironic, I don’t know why, not in a bad way though. Anyway, there were quite a lot of people there, and we all stood here until 9.30pm. By then, I was already dying to unhook my bra because it was really suffocating me. I got home, unhook my bra and talked to you for a bit before I went to bed at 11.40pm. I was truly exhausted.

Today, I woke up around 10am and just lazed around playing Lineage 2 until lunch. Parents decided to cart me to the library with them, I didn’t object. When we got there, I realised how much I missed the library.

You know how some people love the smell of new books? Well I love the smell and sight of old books. The older the book, the better. I love how the pages have turned yellow with age and how the colors of pictures or words have faded ever so lightly. To me, it adds value to the book. Like I have this set of four books which have pictures of Disney cartoon characters doing all sorts of things. It gives a picture of an action or characteristic with the words describing it. Well they have newer printings of the book, exactly the same. The colors were brighter, richer and more vibrant. But I didn’t like it. I still prefer my older ones, perhaps because they have a lot of fond memories attached.

Sigh. Every time I think about this I get all nostalgic. Like yesterday with you in the CD store, we saw rows of Disney’s cartoons. I wanted to buy all of them. Especially the Winnie The Pooh ones. Go on, laugh or taunt at me. I still love watching cartoons. I’m trying to recollect all those old cartoon which I once loved so much and still do. I prefer those old cartoons than the newer ones they have now. They’re more original. =/

Oh well, at least I managed to buy the VCD of We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story. I saw it when I was very young, maybe 6 or 7. I was just thinking about it the other day when I saw it on the rack of the CD store yesterday. I knew I had to get it.

And so I did. Think maybe I’ll watch it tonight if I can find the time. Hehe.

*By the way, my other blog has been updated. Don’t go there if you’re feeling that your life sucks at the moment.

Latent intricacies of my mind - other blog

This one week of school holiday feels much longer this time for some reason. It started off great on Sunday with the grand finale for Season One =D. Then a few days later we did something that I can’t believe we did! Lolz. That’s gonna have to remain as a secret for now =P.

And yesterday, mmhh…I really enjoyed it. Especially during the car ride when it was raining and I was freezing. You gave me your jacket and we sat at each end of the backseat just looking at each other. And suddenly "Hey there, Delilah" came on the radio. We both smiled and looked outside. You told to me a few days ago that that song reminded you of us. =)

Although it didn’t exactly go as planned, but I’m still happy. I got to spend an entire day from morning to night with you. Hehe. Just you and me.

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Coming back to my school life, ugh… For the entire week it’s been tuition, tuition, tuition. Monday had three hours of BM tuition. THREE hours you know, going there was self-attempt at suicide. But you know what saved my life? Slurpee. We had BM tuition on Monday, Tuesday and Friday and the thing that kept me going was Slurpee. And chocolates…mmm.

And yeah, we actually had to go to school on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday for extra classes. We only went on Monday and Tuesday. But we left half way through. Supposedly there’s two two-hour sessions for two different subjects, we only sat through for one. We skipped the other half and followed KY back in his car. Really good to have a classmate who can drive. =D

So yeah that’s how I actually spent my week long holiday other than the few days with you. Without that I think I’d have gone crazy, so you too saved me from spending my entire life in the loony bin. Haha.

Hmm three months to go before I’m officially out of school. I’m counting my days till then. So many things to do after that. There’s prom, then the Singapore trip with us fellow Interactors, and hopefully I’d get to celebrate Christmas with you. I would really, really, really love that.

Okay, time for my evening nap. I try to catch up on as much sleep as possible now. Hehe. Hopefully I’ll see you in Dreamland.

Today was the final episode for Season One. =) It was awesome. I’ll be waiting for Season Two which I am pretty sure will be more of what happened in Season One.

The episode today was also one of the longest, over almost four hours long. =P It was supposed to be only two, but it got dragged on for longer. Haha.

Mmm…I can’t wait for Season Two with you =D. We’ll make more episodes this time. And ensure that it’s more action-filled.

19th August 2007 - Season One Finale.

Ratings: 9.99/10

*grins*

Without my music on, the silence is so deafening, almost perforating my eardrums. I sit here idle in front of my monitor. an unmoving blank look on my face and the only movements I make are the pressing of the keys on my keyboard with my fingers. More than once I just stop typing and listen.

I listen to the sound of my fan blades spinning, the motor of my air-conditioner whirring, the sound of dishes clink from my neighbor’s house, the insects cricking outside and the almost audible pounding of my head.

My eyes sweep around the field of vision that’s visible from where I’m sitting now, inspecting the little things we ignore most of the times - like dust. I look at its shape, its minute size … its lightness. I bring my face closer to it and blow softly. It flew off at such a speed that in a blink of an eye, it disappeared. I touch it lightly with my finger, it dissipates ever so lightly but when I lift finger, there’s a clear round circle that’s clean of dust. At the slightest blow, lightest touch, - it’s gone. Just like life.

It’s been half an hour and here I am in the same exact position. My head is still pounding. I’m breathing so softly and slowly, I can’t even hear the sound of my breath in this silence. Although my room is only like 10 feet away from my parent’s, it feels isolated. So away from the rest of the world. So distant.

It’s dark outside. So invitingly dark. I’m tempted to go out and walk the partially lit streets staring at the sky above. Watching and counting the stars and wishing that you were here with me.

It feels lonely. Your absence does play a part in that but that’s only the cofactor. The larger part is due to another reason. I do wish I could do something about it. But sadly, I can’t. =/

Tonight, for the first time in a long time, I am emo.

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And I just had a deja vu. I get those sometimes. It’s exactly like how I dreamt it.

It’s definitely a weird night.

Some people refer to change as being something bad. They fear being incapable of coping with something relatively outside of their daily norm.  It’s already set in their minds that changes means bad.

Like let’s say you had to move to a new school by the end of the week. For the entire week you worry and muddle yourself with unconfirmed thoughts.

"What if no one likes me?"

"What if I trip on the first day there?"

Those are the common thoughts that most people would have. But why let these thoughts bother you? If you allow yourself to dwell in this state until the day you start at your new school, it is more likely that those what ifs will happen. Because you would unconsciously project yourself to be an insecure, timid and whatever else person.

Think about the better things like how you’ll get to meet new people and might find someone to click with. Or about you getting the opportunity to start afresh in a new place. It’s not always as bad as you might think.

I myself like changes. It gives me a fresh look at things. I get to redo my course of daily habits and routines. So life wouldn’t be dull and boring and repetitive. =)

That’s why I decided to change the layout of my blog. From black, now it’s white. Reasons why I changed the layout:

1. I was getting tired of the previous layout.

3. I want to start new.

Hmm…those are the main reasons why I changed the layout.

I feel it’s time for a change and like I said changes aren’t always bad.

What’s playing now: A Pacific Romance by Last Winter

God, Last Winter has
become my new morphine (other than you, Teddy of course =P). I think
I’ve listened to the entire album 10 times already. I just can’t get
enough of them. Another new album I downloaded recently is the Anthem For The Underdog
by 12 Stones. They sound okay, same goes for Mae. Last Winter still beats them. =D

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Anyway, today I was … thinking. Just having fleeting thoughts weaving
in and out. I was on the floor folding the clothes. I remembered before
I started I looked at the huge pile and thought to myself that it’ll
take me a while to finish them all.

So I sat there, alone, just me, myself and I with my mom banging around
the kitchen. At times like this, my mind starts wandering around. And
this time they were happy thoughts =).

But that’s not my point.

My point is that before I started folding I was feeling like … ugh. You know (larh). Then when I started thinking,
it was like I did everything on autopilot mode. My hands moved by
themselves and folded the clothes into neat little squares. I didn’t
even realise it until later when I kinda like snapped out of my
thoughts all of a sudden.

That was a weird moment for me. I had to take a while to process
whatever that happened around me. I mean I was aware that my mom was
there but I didn’t really register whatever she’s doing. It was like I
suddenly realised she was there and all the clothes were already neatly
folded in front of me.

I don’t know how do I put this in a simpler way but it was definitely weird.

Uber weird.

I downloaded this album last month and totally forgotten about it. I
only noticed it today and decided to give it a listen. Initially I
thought that this would just be another rock album which I would only
listen to once or twice and like only one or two tracks.

But I was so wrong. The first track was only 0:54 but it already
sparked my interest. The second track started a little heavy and I was
afraid that it might turn out to be a little noisy for my liking but it
was alright. =)

1.    Cassiopea
2.    The Violent Things
3.    A Pacific Romance
4.    Kiss So Hard
5.    Girl Next Door
6.    Standing Here
7.    Our Summer In Illinois
8.    Made For TV
9.    Don’t Forget To Write
10.    Chasing Lights
11.    Starlight Drive
12.    Vela To Norma

Almost all the songs I like including A Pacific Romance,The Violent Things, Kiss So Hard, Girl Next Door, Standing Here, Our Summer In Illinois, Made For TV, Don’t Forget To Write. But those few that I have really taken a liking towards are  A Pacific Romance, The Violent Things, Standing Here and Our Summer In Illinois.

Here’s the link to their page at PureVolume Last Winter.

It says on their promo pictures that fans of Fall Out Boy and Anberlin will like this album. Hmm come to think of it the lead vocals for Last Winter do sound like the lead vocals for Fall Out Boy.

Oh well, just go listen to Last Winter if you like Fall Out Boy. I don’t really fancy Anberlin though.

Last Winter’s album Under The Silver Of Machines has become my current favourite for now. This will be the 6th time I listened to it today. =D

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Next up would be Mae’s newest album Singularity. It was supposed to be officially released today, 14th August but of course it’s already leaked into the Internet =P.

So my brother tagged me with this thing that requires me to write 32 things beginning with the word "I".

Think it’ll take me some time to come up with 32 things. =S

1. I miss you.
2. I can’t wait to see you again.
3. I can’t wait for the next "episode" with you. =P
4. I wanna watch another movie with you.
5. I wish all this historical junk would sink in.
6. I wish time would slow down.
7. I want to hear you sing again. =D
8. I want another caramel frapp from Starbucks.
9. I want new heels.
10. I want to go out.
11. I can’t wait for SPM to end.
12. I can’t wait to get my car.
13. I think I’m getting a sore throat.
14. I feel lazy to continue studying. =/
15. I can’t wait for prom.
16. I want to go with you. =)
17. I crave for Manhattan’s Fish Market now.
18. I wish I still had the chocs you gave me. (>.<)
19. I wish I would stop wasting time doing useless things like this.
20. I am running out of things to type.
21. I wanna go to Paris and see the Louvre Museum.
22. I feel like watching Corpse Bride again.
23. I hate my hair at the moment.
24. I wish you were here.
25. I thank God for not getting me chosen for NS.
26. I won’t mind though if I had to go.
27. I hope I don’t flunk history tomorrow. =X
28. I need to stop thinking about food.
29. I want holidays.
30. I am almost done with this.
31. I have to go cram more dull history facts.
32. I am done with this.

There, 32 things beginning with the word "I". I tag whoever who reads this and can be bothered to do it.

It’s natural that we lie about how we really feel. Especially if telling the other person might upset him/her.

We put the other person’s feelings ahead of ours. Why though? Perhaps we think that it’s the right thing to do so as not to cause the other person to get upset. But don’t you think that the other person has a right to know if it has something to do with him/her?

Hmm I don’t know. I do it myself too actually. I find that I keep a lot from others and half the time it’s unintentional. It’s become so natural for me to tell something different from how I really feel…for certain things. It’s not bad all the time but I don’t know why I do it. Like even if it’s not something that will upset the other person, I still tell them otherwise. And I don’t do it on purpose, it just…comes naturally. =/

Mmm…I’m not sure if this post makes any sense because I doubt I am at this moment. Not sure if it’s because I stuffed too much nondescript historical crap into my head or the few sips of vodka I had just now. (>.<)

Sigh. I should head to bed. Eyes are all red and tired now. Goodnight.

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By the way, there’s this awesome Mayday Parade song Three Cheers For Five Years and this guy did a great great cover of it on YouTube. His voice…it’s just so so great, heart-melting. Lol.

Three Cheers For Five Years