Malicious Minds

Somewhere around this week, I think it was on Wednesday night, I went to get my eyes checked (just for the fun of it). It seems that irregardless of the hours I spent in front of my computer, my eyes are still okay. Haha. But I guess it’s only a matter of time before I need to get glasses =S.

I went to this family friend’s optical shop to check my eye and I got new sunglasses/shades. It’s from Giordano.

————————————————————————-
Today was the finals for the Edusmith essay writing competition. It was in Mahsa College. I woke up at 6 am this morning and left house at 6.30 am. That’s so early, on a normal school day I would still be in bed at 6.30 am. So I guess you can see how serious I am about winning this competition. =P Haha. But I’m not 100% confident because I KNOW there are others there better than I am. Hmm oh well even if I get like 2nd or 3rd I’ll be content.

I went there without knowing anyone. So during the first hour I just stood around by myself with my mom there. After she left, I started talking to this girl from SMK Subang Utama. She’s pretty nice and sweet. Haha. Mmm too bad I couldn’t take pictures.

It was so cold in the hall during the 3 hour long seminar. We were practically freezing our butts off. Near the end I was already shivering, had to keep my mouth closed so my teeth don’t chatter. Lol.

Then, we went into another hall to begin the essay. The word limit was given to be 500 and we were told if we had to exceed the limit, try not to go beyond 550 to avoid being penalized. And I wrote 549 words. Haha. We were a given the questions a few days before the competition and I planned how I was going to write it already but today I made a few changes and added a few extra stuff. So had to try and compress the other points which resulted in my essay being very messy. =/

I’m glad that the competition is finally over. I wouldn’t have to worry about it till end of August when the results are to be posted on their website. So till then I don’t wanna give a thought about it anymore. =)

—————————————————-
Tonight, just now I went with my mom to Mines to watch my bro’s dance performance for this concert. It was the One Rock 2007 Drug Free Generation concert. Lotsa underground rock bands performing, it wasn’t that bad except that they chose an absolutely wrong place to hold the concert. Mines is known to be one of the lala lands. And I doubt they ever listen to any English songs other than Westlife or Backstreetboys. =.=

Ugh but going there gave me a sore throat. It’s not that bad but still…it’s uncomfortable. Those blardy smokers, they suffer, I also need to suffer. (>.<) Sigh oh well.
———————————————–
Its a Sunday tomorrow and I have almost 5 hours of tuition tomorrow. Two hours in the morning and three at night. But good thing the morning one isn’t that bad, we got a new Chem teacher and we like him.

Class starts at 10 am. I should head to bed plus I’m having DMS. Ugh. Backaches during this time are the WORSE ever. Grr…

Goodnight.

Two more weeks. Fourteen days. Only 336 hours to go before high school ends. Well not officially but yeah in two weeks time is my SPM trials and after that there’s no more leisure time for me. I’m so scared but yet I’m still sitting here wasting my time away. I came up with an oxymoron for how I’m feeling now. Nervously calm. The trials are making me nervous but at the same time I’m not doing anything. =.=

School these days have become excruciatingly torturous. Time just goes by soo slow in school. Good thing now we have that miracle of a nasi lemak to help cheer us up. Lol. We found out that our classmate A. takes order from people for her friend’s mom who makes the most amazing nasi lemak. We have it every Monday and Friday because Mondays school ends at 2.20pm and Fridays we have extra add maths classes.

Anyway, I have great news. There was this essay writing competition by this magazine Edusmith. My mom saw it in the newspapers and asked me to enter it. So I submitted two essays, factual and a story.

I got shortlisted. =D

The finals for the Wilayah and Selangor participants will be at 29th July, next Saturday. There’ll be a 3 hour seminar on writing techniques and then 2 hours where we’re require to write an essay there and then, unaided.

That’s one of my weak points. I tend to write less well when I don’t have the Internet and if there are time constraints. I need to start preparing for that. But I doubt I’ll win first prize because there are like 250 participants there and that’s only in KL. What about those who attended the seminar in Seremban, Penang and Johor? Even if I got second or third or even consolation I’ll be content ‘coz it’s like out of the whole country.

———————————–

Ugh. I just remembered. My add maths project. Sigh. Remind me again why are we doing it this year. We should have done it last year when we were supposedly in our "honeymoon year." Now we have to do it AND study for trials. Grr…I wish I had more time. Time to study, to sleep, to play and just to waste. It’s just so rare now, that I’m able to find free time. I remember last time in Form 1, 2 and 3, I had too much time. I actually had time to watch TV and movies.

Now I can’t even find the two hours to watch all those movies and shows I downloaded. The only thing keeping me sane is my music. Recently I downloaded the latest album of the Punk Goes… series. It’s the Punk Goes Acoustic 2. Here’s the tracklisting:

1. "Bruised" - Jack’s Mannequin
2. "Don’t Be So Hard" - theAUDITION
3. "Baby, Come On" - (+44)
4. "Sun" - Daphne Loves Derby
5. "Woe" - Say Anything
6. "Apology" - Alesana
7. "Jasey Rae" - All Time Low
8. "Red Light Pledge" - Silverstein
9. "Night Drive" - The All-American Rejects
10. "Three Cheers for Five Years" - Mayday Parade
11. "Staplegunned" - The Spill Canvas
12. "Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been" - Relient K
13. "Welcome to 1984" - Anti-Flag
14. "The Only Song" - Sherwood
15. "Echoes" - Set Your Goals

Although most of the songs don’t actually sound like punk but more like mainstream emo, it’s still pretty good. Out of the 15 songs, my top favourite one is "Three Cheers for Five Years" by Mayday Parade. I downloaded their two albums and they’re pretty awesome too.

I think out of the entire Punk Goes… series, this is yet the best one. Go ahead and give it a listen if you’re a fan of emo rock/pop punk stuff. I can promise that you’ll like at least half of it. =D

—————————————-

And by the way, Krys sent me the .pdf file of the latest Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. Don’t know if I should read it yet but if anyone else wants it, let me know. I’ll send it over to ya.

—————————————-

Also, here’s my July 2007 desktop.

The past few months for me has been so much more eventful than any other times in my life that I can recall. Never have I ever imagined that so much would have happened. I thought that this would be yet another year of nothing but school stuff for me. But I was so wrong.

Hmm wait…last year was a bit less boring but hurtful though. =/ The end of last year was a very important point of my life. It was the transition of me from being a little girl to someone who’s somewhat more mature. Thoughts erupted from all over my mind making it a very shambolic place. But I think recently it has toned down a little. I guess I only think too much when I’m "emo". I haven’t been "emo" in a while. Well maybe a little now, but not in a bad sense. Just "emo" enough to start wondering about stuff.

So yeah, whatever happened this year helped me understand certain things in life better. Not all that happened was good, there were some that hurt. Like how I lost someone whom have stuck around with me for the longest time. It’s mainly my own fault for saying things I shouldn’t have. But I can’t take them back, what’s done is done. Well some might say that just reverse the actions. In this case, it cannot be done.

The good stuff isn’t entirely good though. At least well it was good for me. But for the others it wasn’t. I wish it didn’t happen in that way where I’m stuck with no clue to alleviate their pain. There was a point where I was certain that I would lose everyone. I could not tolerate even the thought of it so I grabbed the one who was nearest to me at the moment.

That was a mistake. A rash decision. Impulsive actions.

I learnt through that to appreciate what I had before and not try to possess everything. Because I can never have everything. And I am content with what I have now =).

You’re probably wondering why is the title ‘I Scare Me’. Well I’m not trying to flatter myself in a more subtle way or anything but I am scared by how much I am capable of affecting people. At my moments of self-introspection I often wonder what is it in me that some people see. I know I’m a little weird and unlike others mostly in thoughts but that’s all. And this is also not seen at first glance.

I think that explains why only some people manage to see me as a different person. They took the time to unveil that outer sheath. They got to know how I can really be. Which is a good thing because I wouldn’t have to be careful about accidentally revealing the other side.

You told me I’m more than meets the eye. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. It can be good in a way that I’m more than what your eyes see. But in a bad way it  can mean that people will only know the real person if they took time to do that. =S Oh well.

But I’m glad that those few people I have now took the time to know me. Especially you who noticed so many little things about me that I never knew. Sometimes I get weirded out by how you notice the little details in me. And how you know what I’m thinking just by the look in my eyes. I’m glad you stuck around this long for me. =)

——————————————————
Hey! After listening to the whole of Halifax’s album, the emo-ness went away. Hehe. Pretty emo sounding songs. Mmm I can smile and be merry again. =D

Yesterday, last night was one of the best nights I had with my friends. Although it was pretty short and all but I really had fun. We went to Secret Recipe to celebrate JY’s birthday. There were 9 of us, CM, CY, Jega, JY, ZE, KF,WK, KY and I. I was glad that KF and WK could make it ‘coz it’s been a long time since I last hung out with those guys outside of school. Kinda miss them. =/

Anyway, although our sole purpose of going to Secret Recipe was to celebrate JY’s bday we didn’t actually plan to get a cake with candles for her. However, it was the guys who had a surprise for her. They ordered 5 different slices of cakes and had candles on them. It was really cute.

10 minutes later …

We ate quite a lot last night. We ordered 4 lasagnas, 3 tomyams, one gourmet pie and 5 slices of cake. But surprisingly, when the bill came it wasn’t that much. I was expecting it to reach at least 300 but it didn’t even touch 250.

We spent about two hours in there and I think they were pretty glad after we left. Lol. And yeahh! When we were singing Happy Birthday to JY, a little boy around 3 from the other table came and join us. He was so cute! He wanted to wish JY Happy Birthday but was too shy so he blew her a kiss. It was really so cute! Haha.

Later we decided to head out to the park in front of KY’s house. So we got him to bring candles and his guitar out. We sat around a candle-lit table and sang sentimental old songs. Lol mmm … it was silly but great at the same time. Wish it would have lasted longer though =/. Oh well.

Time: 10.45pm
Currently listening to: The Minstrel’s Prayer by Cartel

Finally! After all the stress and pressure it’s over! We had our Unity Day today. It went alright except that there were a few groups of people who were beyond our control. Mostly guys, quite uncivilized actually. I felt like kicking each of them with the 4-inch heels/stilettos I was wearing then with the cheongsam.

I was so tired this morning. Woke up with a headache and it’s still around now. Don’t know how I made it through the day without collasping. I couldn’t sit for the whole morning because of the cheongsam I was wearing. The slit was already almost reaching half my thighs when I was standing, imagine when I sit. So I and JY stood for 4 hours in heels. The feeling’s worse than going shopping for hours.

This Unity Day was about the three main races in Malaysia. We got each race to do performances. The Malays did a bit of singing but the pictures for those aren’t with me. The Chinese did a performance with the Chinese yo-yo and the Indians did a traditional dance.

We had displays of traditional games, foods and other stuffs. Also, we sold traditional food at each station. Chinese sold tangyuan, Malays sold this sort of jelly and honeydew drink and the Indians sold something which I don’t know what it’s called. Everything was gone by the end of the second recess. Haha. At the Chinese station we ran out of paper cups and KY cycled out to the shops to get more for us. That was really nice of him. Plus it was so bloody hot that day. The high collar of the cheongsam made it even worse.

I felt really happy seeing that everything went okay. Although not exactly as planned but still alright. During, the Chinese Yo-yo performance, there were so many people watching and that made me feel really great. I think I teared up a bit. Haha. I don’t know…like all the effort, time and energy you put in turned out to be worth it. I like the second recess students better. They were the Form 4s and 5s. Clearly they were much more civilized than the From 3s but they were also quite supportive. Like when one of the yo-yo players dropped the yo-yo, they didn’t boo him like the From 3s instead they clapped for him. It was great, really. =)

People were actually expecting some sort of Cheongsam presentation but we didn’t prepare ourselves or whatever for it. So I asked Krys to teach me the Chinese tea ceremony so I could perform it. It was pretty fun doing it. My favourite part is rinsing the cups with tea.

All in all, I am glad that all went well today. I enjoyed it, during it and also preparing it. It’s great fun being an Interactor. You get a lot of experience when it comes to planning and organising stuff. Tomorrow is my school’s sports’ day. We’re gonna sell drinks. =D I love selling stuff.

Mmm… I miss the cheongsam already. It’s really nice and comfy. Okay maybe it restricts certain movements like - sitting. =.= But still it was gorgeous. I should consider asking my mom to get one made for me. Hehe. Yeah, there was this Indian guy whom well I don’t really know that well except that I know he’s from the class next door. I was walking along my own way and he was talking to his friend and when I was passing he suddenly stopped me. He said, "Hey girl, you look really beautiful" I was taken aback by that sudden comment from him because I don’t know, I don’t think I’ve ever spoken a word to him before. And I also wasn’t sure if he was joking. Oh well. =P

It’s late I should probably go to bed. Another day at school tomorrow. Goodnight.

Time: 1.20am
Currently listening to: Gone So Young by Amber Pacific

I spent the weekend shopping with my mom. Sweet aint it? Hehe. So yeah I bought new heels, a skirt, a pair of shorts and two new shirts and new earrings. I wanted to get more but then couldn’t find anything else that I liked. I mean I did but my mom didn’t wanna get them for me =/. Oh well…at least I got something.

I want to make your soul shine

Skirt from MNG

New heels from VISS

bunch of new earrings

————————————————————————————————–
Oh, by the way, next week Kajang High School (boys) is gonna have this BBQ night and they’ve invited our school. So we’re definitely going =P. We always do the PR/interacting-with-other-schools stuff. The rest are only interested in doing in-school activities. Also, Unity Day this friday. Sigh. Pressure, pressure, pressure. Our VP keeps saying the information I have isn’t completed yet but I don’t know what I’m lacking. I don’t know…plus this Friday I might have to play a small part in the fashion show. Gonna wear a cheongsam. Krys is getting it for me from her aunt, I hope it fits and isn’t too long. =/

Anyway, it’s late I’m gonna head to bed. Can feel my head pounding. Goodnight.