Malicious Minds

Omg it’s already the end of June…which means only about four more months till SPM or in another way, the last little river to cross before I’m free. =P Can’t believe it’s our last year in high school. I’m so gonna miss school especially our Interact Club and Sir Willeam, which reminds me, it’s almost time for the 2006/2007 Board of Directors of Interact Club to step down. =/ I’ll no longer be the I.U Director. Our next AGM would be around July and a new president is gonna step up. This time we’re gonna select the President ourselves, we cannot rely on people’s votes. Hehe. We’ve pretty much already decided who’s gonna be the next president. I certainly hope next year’s B.O.D will continue whatever we left for them. Our club is currently the most active and richest in the school =D…wouldn’t want some other club to replace us in that.

You know during Teachers’ Day, CM, Jega, Krys, JY and I made a little book with pictures of us in various events related to Interact/Rotary Club. We gave it to Sir Willeam and I swear his eyes got teary. He said he was touched and sincerely happy. And yeah each of us had a piece of color A4 paper to write a little "note of love" to him. We never read each others’ note, only Sir knows what each of us wrote. Mmm…sigh…I’m gonna miss all that.

Anyway, prom! This is a private prom organised by the Form Fives. It’s gonna be at Berjaya Times Square Hotel, 18th December. No teachers, no parents! With a DJ and live band, wonder who…maybe the ex-Form 5 students. Mmm…I wonder who’ll be there. And what I’m gonna wear. It’ll be fun…shopping for shoes and dresses. Haha. We’re gonna be totally drop-dead hot and gorgeous that night. Anyone interested to be my date =P? Lolzz.

Note: Anyone who thinks/feels/intends/wants to go. Let me know. It’s only RM100. =)

By the way, I found this good-but-not-totally-awesome band, Quietdrive. They sound like hmm I’m not sure…a bit like Plain White T’s plus a bit of noise from The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Haha. But anyway, you gotta listen to the album more than once to really get into their songs. Still have Boys Like Girls on the top of my list =P.

Today we woke up at 7am to go the the Ampang Road Girls’ School (AGRS) IU Day. Their theme was Masai Madness. You know that tribe in Africa who call themselves the Masai? Yeah that. It was a fairly good one. They got these people from this company Psychoacoustics to do the sound and lighting thingy. Pretty decent. Plus the guys who came to set it up were pretty err…"decent" looking too. Lolz. Couldn’t take pics of them because it will seem to obvious. Oh well.

There were Interactors from Ampang Road Boys’ School, Methodist Boys’ School, Victoria Institution, Setapak High School, Methodist Girls’ School, Convent Bukit Nanas and Sentul, Wesley Methodist and a few more I can’t remember.

The performances were interesting, mainly about the Masai people. Traditional dance, fusion dance and a sketch. And yeah their Fashion Show was not too bad either. But I didn’t take pictures though, forgot to. Haha.

The event ended around 1.30pm and we left to go to KLCC which was only like a 10 minute bus ride away. Imagine studying so near to KLCC. I would probably go there enough times to be so sick of even hearing the name being uttered. Anyway, we went for our movie, Ocean’s Thirteen while Sarah watched Fantastic Four…alone. She said she liked it even more that way. Mmm… But Ocean’s Thirteen was good, funny at most times. Last time when I was younger, when I first watched Ocean’s Eleven I didn’t understand a damn thing and immediately classified it into the "boring-sucky-movies" category. Few years later I re-watched it and liked it. I like all three Ocean’s movies. It tricks you everytime in the end.

After that we decided to have something to eat, three of us (Krys, JY and I) excluding KY and CM because they didn’t want to eat what we wanted. We went to Nippon Tei. =D

Ooooh and guess what?! I went to Tower Records and I went in with only one purpose. I already knew where to look but I wanted to start from the bottom and slowly make my way to the top ‘coz in that way when I do actually find it, the satisfaction and joy would be double, maybe triple. Lol. You get me? But I was almost there…soooo close then CM told me to go over to the other aisle to check something out. And there she was waving the Boys Like Girls CD in my face. I went like "omg! I have to have that". And so I did. But if I had found it myself it would have been better…hmm nevermind. I splurged a little on CDs…I got the Boys Like Girls CD and also a Say Anything CD. Both imported. =D There’s a difference between imported ones and those manufactured here. The CD covers of the imported ones are better in quality. Haha. Was looking to see if they had Mae too or maybe if I was even lucky Secondhand Serenade. But oh well… At least I got Boys Like Girls. =P

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Mmm I remember perfectly well that the day started off pretty good. I woke up feeling pretty satisfied with myself because last night I managed to finish the first draft for the poetry writing competition. It wasn’t bad but could definitely be better, so I’m gonna rewrite it. First prize is RM1000…ahh imagine what I would be able to do with all that cash!

Then in the afternoon, I went to the library with my dad and CM and CY, killed a few hours there doing almost nothing. We were supposed to go discuss our Add Maths project…supposedly. Lol. But oh well, at least I did attempt to do the first few questions. =/

Fast forward a few hours I was sitting doing my Chemistry notes while listening to sentimental songs. It kinda reminded me about times before when I used to feel like that almost every night. I remember dreading coming into my room because the moment I stepped into my room it was like being sealed away from the outside world. And at that time I had some stuff going on, so it made things worse.

But tonight when it happened, it made me realise that for the past few months…I was actually content. I won’t say happy because well…I tend to have all kinda stuff popping out from nowhere at the weirdest times. But I wasn’t depressed. So that’s good I guess.

Anyway, today’s emo-ness isn’t the type where I feel like I just wanna be left alone and all. Today it’s the er…I don’t know how do I put it…erm the sweet kinda emo-ness? Haha I don’t know. But that was why I decided to watch this really sweet movie just now. I first watched it when I was 11 or 12 I think but back then I didn’t really watch the movie, I was just looking at Shane West. =P

A Walk To Remember, that’s it. I so love it. I think it’s really really sweet and touching. When I was watching I kept rewinding back to the sweet parts to watch it over again. I don’t know, it really makes you smile and cry at the same time. Seriously, I don’t know why the critics said it was a bad movie, okay maybe it isn’t the best, but still it deserved more praise. Plus, with Shane West there as the male lead, it was I don’t know. I just love movies where one person changed so much just because he/she fell in love with someone incredible.

Mmm…I can’t describe what I’m feeling now. I guess it’s lovey-dovey and sad at the same time. Just feel like watching more movies to make me cry. I love movies which can make me cry. And if it does, it’s really good one because I don’t cry easily when watching movies. So far the only other movie that was a real tear-jerker is Click. Really made me wanna cry but I couldn’t then because I was with my parents. Haha.

1.15 am. I should probably go to bed. I have this trip to UCSI tomorrow, following the school, no idea why we’re going there. But it’s gonna be free…so might as well go. =/

Goodnight.

"Love is like the wind. You can’t see it but you can feel it." (quote from A Walk To Remember)

Here’s the song that actually started making me a bit emo.


Like We Never Loved At All by Faith Hill

You never looked so good

as you did last night,

underneath the city lights,

there walking with your friend,

laughing at the moon.

I swear you looked right through me.

But I’m still living with your goodbye,

and you’re just going on with your life.

How can you just walk on by

without one tear in your eye?

Don’t you have the slightest feelings left for me?

Maybe that’s just your way

of dealing with the pain,

forgetting everything

between our rise and fall

like we never loved at all.

You, I hear you’re doing fine.

Seems like you’re doing well

as far as I can tell.

Time is leaving us behind,

(time – leaving us behind)

another week has passed

and still I haven’t laughed yet.

So tell me, what your secret is

(I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know)

to letting go, letting go like you did,

like you did.

How can you just walk on by

without one tear in your eye?

Don’t you have the slightest feelings left for me?

Maybe that’s just your way

of dealing with the pain,

forgetting everything

between our rise and fall

like we never loved at all.

Did you forget the magic?

Did you forget the passion?

Oh, and did you ever miss me,

and long to kiss me?

Oh baby, baby.

Maybe that’s just your way

of dealing with the pain,

forgetting everything

between our rise and fall

like we never loved at all.

(I don’t like the review function provided by Friendster because it has a 2000 characters limit. So I’d prefer posting this review as a blog post.)

I found Want To Play? in the library I visit every three weeks.

P.J Tracy is a pseudonym for mother and daughter authors P.J. and Traci Lambrecht. This book is like your typical crime novel but with something additional that I’ve never seen used in other books. The plot is good, ingeniously done. The characters are very well illustrated. The dialogues are snappy, funny and sharp. This is a book which will leave you wanting to know what happens next.

However, the first thirty pages are pretty slow in progression. But after that it starts getting twisted. Like most books, the second half of it is naturally more interesting as the plot thickens and progresses towards the climax. One thing that I don’t like about it is just that it gives you an idea early in the book who’s the killer. I prefer it to be a surprise in the end. =/

Want To Play? spreads over about 453 pages. The words are printed small so it’s actually a pretty long read. But definitely worth it. I remember today in class during History, I was secretly reading it under my desk as the teacher went on about the "Pilihanraya". I was hooked. I had to finish it. I was already at the climax, and I’m sure you know how it feels like to just leave it hanging there. It leaves your heart racing and you just can’t wait to find out. I finished the last two hundred pages in two days during school hours. Couldn’t find much time to read at home.

The story revolves around a computer game designed by Grace MacBride, so expect some technogeek talk. Also, a lot of police and detective work involved. Sometimes I wonder how authors get so much info on those kinda stuff. Another bad point for me is that I think there are too many characters to focus on. Like it took me a while to finally know who’s who without having to refer to the earlier pages. But I suppose this is part of the author’s idea to spread out the suspicion over many characters.

Actually it wasn’t the preview on the back of the book that caught my attention. I noticed this book at first by it’s title and cover. The preview for this book isn’t that capturing, the one on the second book was better and I was going to borrow that first but then I thought it was probably better I start with the first since the same main characters are used in the second book.

Mmm … but so far my all-time favourite book is Angels & Demons by Dan Brown. I know a lot of people say that Dan Brown’s books are overrated. But have they actually read them? Or maybe religion controversies aren’t their thing, which definitely is mine =D. Just throw me anything on religion or mysterious symbols and ritual and I’ll be sure to leave you for a few hours.

Anyway, back to Want To Play?, I would conclude by saying that do read this book if possible. Although it may seem long it is worth the time taken to finish it. What I like most about it is the sharp and witty repartee. It makes me laugh at the funny bits and cringe at the gruesome ones. If this book was made into a movie, it would be awesome. Well hopefully someone does. =)

It has always occurred to me that I always have different likings and interests compared to others. So in order to not be marginalised, I blend in and act the way most people act. In this case, lets call it mainstream people and non-mainstream people (thanks Zach for giving me the idea).

To begin with, I never understood why some people love following the crowd. I think it’s a ridiculous thing to do. But then again, if you chose not to do what everyone does, you’ll stand as the odd one out. Like for an example, I’m gonna be really honest here, I’m not as crazy over chocolates as I may seem to. I only do that because it’s what most girls are. I don’t know why I do that. Every time I do that I feel like I’m only deceiving myself and not others. I know, call me a fake if you want to. It’s true anyways.=S

Some people might say to hell with what others think, just be yourself. But what if being yourself equates to being left out and isolated from the rest? Can you live being totally alone without someone you can really relate to? I know it might contradict with what I previously said that when you don’t share similar interests with others but you blend in with the rest and pretend to have the same interests, how can you relate with that someone? Okay, in my opinion, if you’re constantly exposed and experiencing the same thing over and over again you will develop either a liking or dislike for it. But only to a certain extent.

Hmm… Let’s say you don’t listen to mainstream music but most of your friends do, so when you guys gather, you can’t share what you listen to with them because it ends in a conflict between interests. That’s me. I’ve stopped listening to mainstream music. I don’t care what’s the newest rap or Beyonce song. But there are times with friends when I find it difficult because out of a group I’m the odd one out. I don’t know. It’s a feeling of being disconnected.

That is one of the reasons why sometimes I choose to just fall in with the crowd. To just cling on to the nearest person I see and just follow wherever that person goes. I do get the urge sometimes to just forget about trying to blend in and be myself but then at the same time I know that I would be a loner if I do so.

I’m laughing at myself here. I made a post in my other blog  saying that in order to be different, just be yourself. I’m doing the opposite. I’m trying hard not to be too different. Don’t get me wrong, I do want to stand out, but not way over the edge. It’ll be lonely. I can imagine the feeling, standing in the outer ring of a field with the mainstream people in the middle. I would gaze longingly at them wishing I could join them or at least they join me. But hmm … I think it would be better if I stepped a little closer towards them.

Ahh…now I see more people who’re like me, those who too aren’t part of the mainstream people. Some people whom I can actually relate to. Hehe. You guys know who you are =).

Currently listening to: Thunder by Boys Like Girls (awesome song)
Time: 1.01 pm

As if a trip to Bangkok wasn’t enough, my mom wanted to go to Langkawi too and we just went last year. We spent four days there and stayed at this kampung-style chalet. It was alright but the rooms were a bit dark though.

Thats a caterpillar … and it’s cute!

It was a little bit of a rush to the airport, I wasn’t ready to leave yet, I still had my stuff lying around my bed 15 minutes before the taxi came. I wasn’t sure what to wear but I decided to wear this red MNG shirt which I’ve never worn before and my gorgeous new heels.

This time my brother didn’t join us, oh well, more money to be spent on me. =D On our first night there, I bought new shoes. Spanking new Nike Airs.

Mmm then there were chocolates and some drinks. I got those cute miniature bottles of liquor. My mom didn’t let me get more than two. Oh well.

Ooh yeah about The Guy. There were a few hot looking guys there, not many, but still some. But the ONLY one which really caught my eye was this guy in this shop. I think it was his parents’. I don’t know what was he, but definitely a mix. Probably Indian + Malay + maybe a bit of white, I don’t know. But he was… lol. I tried to take a picture to show CM and all but it was hard without getting noticed. So no pictures. =( When we were leaving the shop, he was like outside with the other workers and he was just standing there so I stood there hanging around, letting the others go in front first. For a moment I looked at him, he was looking a bit uncertain and all I don’t know. But I knew it was gonna be impossible so I just walked off…goodbye hot Indian+Malay+a bit of white+don’t-know-what! Lolz. Mmm he was just a very nice sight for the eyes. Guys like these come and go all the time. Oh well.

On the second day we went to this Pulau Payar and it was definitely not worth it. Ugh. They put so much into advertising it and the real thing was like the total opposite. =.=

The next day we went for the cable car (second time for me). My mom and her friend were too chicken to go on it so I was the only female among the men. It was nice misty day but a little hot.

After the cable car ride we went for lunch and mmm I think I was really hungry because I err…ate more than usual. For the first time in my life I had one bowl of laksa then another bowl of tomyam. It was so damn good! Thinking about it now is making me hungry =S.

Our last day we went for the mangrove forest tour (again my second time). But this time we started off at Tanjung Rhu and I have to say I really lurveee that beach despite my slight fear of water. It’s just so calm and serene there.

On the boat we passed a few bunch of monkeys and we tried throwing them food. There was this monkey who actually swam towards us. It stopped a few feet beside our boat and looked at us hopefully for food. We threw it a couple of rambutans.

Hmm for the tour there were some places like the fish farm and bat cave where we would stop to have a look and well they were those little Malay boys who took care of the place. They were barely even 16. Most of them were like 11 or 12 and they were already smoking. I don’t know but it kinda disturbed me. Not sure why, but nevermind.

So three hours later, we were back at Tanjung Rhu and ready to head back to the hotel for a shower then get ready to check out. Flight was at 5.35 pm. I was so tired that day and I was sneezing a bit. I didn’t really want to wear what I initially planned to wear because I wanted to get into something more comfy but I didn’t have anything else good to wear.

Wanna see my suitcase? It’s really neat (as said by Zach =D)

Hmm so four days just gone like that. One thing about holidays is that it really makes you forget about everything else. If I hadn’t my watch and phone with me I would totally lost track of time. And when I came back everything came rushing back - tuition, exam results, study, English presentation, Unity Day for Interact … ahhhh. Too many things to do. I don’t have enough time. I need more time. But it’s impossible. Time and tide waits for no one including the awesome Nikkilicious. =/