Malicious Minds

"You know, when we were young, the Malay, Chinese and Indian would sit together and share just one apple," my dad was saying.

Take a look now. You don’t usually see this happening anymore. Groups of different races are all huddling by themselves in separate corners. Where has all this "perpaduan" gone to?

Dad says since Dr. Mahathir book, The Malay Dilemma, unity among us has been growing weaker. What’s with stuff like "Oh, you eat pork. Stay away from me". I’m not saying all are like that, just some.

Like on Friday, about 12 Malay guys were against two chinese guys from my school. Both chinese guys lost their lives. One died on the spot, the other got hospitalised and from what I heard, died too later on. It started when a group of Malay guys playing firecrackers in school threw it at a group of chinese guys. The chinese got angry and whacked one of the Malays til they broke his leg. Later that day, that broken legged Malay called his older Malay friends (adults) and beat up two of the chinese guys. Now, there’s gonna be another fight coming on where the chinese will bring in their gangsters.

Over the years, prejudice against other races has been growing stronger. Lots of racial attacks could be seen on the news and the government boasting that we are able to live in a multi-racial country in harmony. My foot.

This is mainly for the ladies…guys wouldn’t be interested…unless you’re as gay as a window.

Anyway, have you ever been to the Popular Bookshop in Leisure Mall for the past 6 months or so? And if you have, when you walk in the entrance, do you go straight to wherever you want to or do you find a very attention catching, distracting sight? If you do, is that attention catching, distracting sight a someone? If it is, then is that person always found by the entrance? Also, does that person happens to be a really gorgeous, good-looking, amazingly attractive, great body, very suave, slick, tall, dark and handsome guy? (he’s Malay by the way) Dark hair with blonde highlights on the tips of his spiky hair. Always dressed in either black or dark blue button down shirt…(oooh i love those kinda shirts!) If you have noticed him before and don’t think he’s hot…you can stop reading here.

I think i’ve been infatuated with him since last year. And it got stronger and stronger. Today was the time i really felt something. Nervousness or something. I haven’t seen him for a few months and today walking in Popular I was kinda nervous and tried not to look as if i was looking for him. I couldn’t find him at the entrance so i walked straight to the school books section and there he was…we had eye contact for a split second before i turned away. I can never hold eye contact with a guy for too long…especially if he happens to be one of the most gorgeous guys I’ve seen.

I was dazzled. Dazed. I was feeling light-headed. I knew I had to tell someone. So immediately I SMS-ed CM. A few minutes later she said she was here too. I told her before about Pintu Boy (it’s a name I’ve given him). But the first guy she looked at was an Indian guy…she thought that was my Pintu Boy. She came over mouthing "he’s so ugly".. At first I couldn’t believe it…how can she say my Pintu Boy is ugly?? Then later I asked her again and found out that she was eyeing the wrong guy. Lol. Okay. So the first word from her after seeing the real Pintu Boy was "he’s okay looking". But after a little while she fell into the same spell as i did ages ago.

So there we were trying not to giggle too hard and not to look too obvious that we’re so totally into Pintu Boy. I think he kinda noticed us staring at him. Coz he came by quite near us with his friend and kept whispering. His friend kept throwing us looks. Haha. I tell you he’s capital H-O-T and G-E-O-R-G-O-U-S.

Ahh…I can’t get him out of my head… His smile…it’s so…dazzling…with his perfect teeth. Ahh…*melts and faints*

You know, the three of us, Jega, CM and I. I think we have this weird thing for jaga/pintu boys. My pintu boy works in Popular but he isn’t like the normal staff who wears the Popular uniform. He’s always wearing dark blue or black shirts. Think maybe he’s a guard there or something…considering his body build as well. So yeah, Jega had this crush on this Pakistani mix guard who’s standing at the guard house to Saujana Impian i think. And CM used to like this Malay guard who used to guard her house area. But he’s not there anymore. Lolz. I have to say my Pintu Boy is the best among all three. Hehe =P Next time I’ll try to take a picture if it’s possible. Anyway, my headache’s not getting any better. I think I’m gonna crash early today. Wake up early tomorrow and study. Gonna dream of Pintu Boy. Hehe.

I don’t know who or how…but today we had this sudden inspiration to sell puddings tomorrow in school. In case you’re wondering, all this while i’ve been busy raising funds for my school’s Interact Club. We’ve been washing teachers’ cars, selling chocolates and now we’re gonna sell pudding. At first it was chocolate covered fruits like apples, bananas, etc. But later we decided it would be far more easier and cheaper to make puddings. So then we all got so excited that it was kinda hard for us to actually pay attention in class but we forced ourselves anyway…

The plan was like this…Krystine’s mom would fetch us to Tesco after school so that we can get the stuff we need. Like plastic cups, spoons, eggs, flour and you know the rest. And CM would join us after she’s done with her tuition and piano classes which will be around 8pm.

It was a little after 4pm when we left for Tesco. Reached there in about 20 minutes i think. Spent about and hour plus shopping around and trying to decide which milk was cheaper. I think we were a little…noisy…people were kinda looking at us while we argued about the price differences and so on. Haha. Who cares anyway…

We got home sharp at 6pm…just like what i had predicted two hours ago. Hehe. Krys, Jega and I were the only ones gathered at my house at that time. We started off with the lemon pudding. Well…it wasn’t THAT bad for our first pudding though it was a little lumpy and thick. Haha. That time when we tasted it…it was okay…only a little too sweet. So we chuck everything we made into the refrigerator and started on our next pudding - the chocolate pudding.

The chocolate pudding took a much longer time to make than the lemon one. Maybe it was because while stirring the milk with a combination of flour + sugar + cocoa powder, we were discussing about this two hot guys in this show on TV called Supernatural. Lolz. I swear we can talk about guys for hours. You don’t wanna hear how and what we say. Haha =P

So anyway, when the mixture was ready, I brought it to the stove to cook it. I was supposed to stir it until it thickens. So there I stood one hand on my hip, stirring chocolate. I stirred and stirred and stirred. Still it remained liquid. After some while later, I decided that I had been stirring for far too long so i just brought it over to the kitchen counter and began pouring the hot chocolate liquid into the little plastic cups. When I’ve just finished pouring into the last cup, dear mommy came in and said "There’s no way that chocolate is going to set and harden."

We had no other choice but to pour the chocolate back into the pot and let my mom boil it again. This time…when she’s the one cooking…it did thicken. It turned out better than what I expected. I think it’s gonna be really sellable tomorrow. We’re gonnna spray some whipped cream on the surface and sprinkle a little chocolate rice over it. And we’re only charging RM1.50 for it! That’s cheap!

Anyway, Seow Teng came too to help out. Glad she came, it was always funny to have her around. By the time CM came, we were going to start on the second batch of the chocolate pudding. This time I let the others do the work. Since they were soooo eager to do. Haha. And yeah…my mom was there to help us. It was really good of her. She saved us in the end of the day. Read on to find out.

Soew Teng was a little curious about how our lemon pudding tasted like because she never got to taste it. Jega and I (Krys went home already), kept insisting that it doesn’t really tastes that good. But of couse, being Seow Teng, she kept asking for it. So finally, we gave in and gave her the one that I thought looked ugliest. I think she regretted asking for it when she took off the cover. Lol. She took her first spoonful and after a little while she said it tasted like kaya. We bursted out laughing. Later we had this little debate of what to do with the lemon-kaya pudding.

Then, dearest mommy came up with this brilliant idea. She said she would make dragon fruit jelly for us to sell and to put the lemon-kaya pudding aside. We all agreed and so she made us about 14 cups of dragon fruit jelly. It was good…tasted good as well…and the color was really attention catching. There’s the part where my mom saved us. Hehe.

Anyway, I wished I can continue typing but my eyes really are failing me. They’re refusing to stay open. And i think my body’s gonna shut down completely any moment now. Guess it’s bed time for me now. Nitez! Bittersweet dreams!

Hmm…lately I find myself having more and more mood swings…been having lots of chocolates lately to put up with the mood swings. And it’s even worse when you can’t cry it out. So I’ve been scouting quite a bit for sad songs. And since there were a number of people who asked me for some suggestions..I thought why not put up a list of some songs that might help some people feel better.

Okay I’ll start off with some songs in random order…

1. Everytime - Britney Spears
Okay…you may think "wth…a britney song?" But really…this song made me cry one time when i was really down and i instantly felt much better.

2. Everything - Lifehouse
One of the songs that I find really moving…especially the part where the song goes:
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

3. Tears In Heaven - Eric Clapton
A really sad song he recorded after his son died. Listen carefully to the lyrics…

4. Butterfly Kisses - not so sure who’s the actual singer
Hmm…it’s sad in the part when his daughter is gonna marry her new husband.

5. I Miss You - Blink 182
One of the newer songs…but it’s still sad

6. God’s Will - Martina McBride
A song about a boy who has this problem with his legs and health.

7. Best I Ever Had - Vertical Horizon
A very very very sad song… Quite popular among sad songs

8. Adam’s Song - Blink 182

9. Two Beds and A Coffee Machine - Savage Garden
This song is seriously sad…the intro itself makes you feel the sadness in this song… Lyrics need to be understood

10. I’ve Never Been To Me - Charlene
This is one of my all time favourite song…it’s an oldie. About this girl who done many things that she regretted and is giving advice to another girl. Listen several times to fully understand the lyrics

11. Runaway Train - Soul Asylum
Another favourite sad song of mine…

12. Close To You - The Carpenters
Oldies oldies oldies… The Carpenters have very good songs… This particular one is my favourite

13. Superstar - The Carpenters
Nice and sad

14. Yesterday Once More -  The Carpenters
Another one of my absolute favourite Carpenters song…helps when you’re sad.
When they get to the part where he’s breaking her heart
It can really make me cry
Just like before, it’s yesterday once more

15. Goodbye To Love - The Carpenters

16. Rainy Days and Mondays - The Carpenters

17. 9,999,999 Tears - Dickey Lee
A favourite…it doesn’t sound very sad…but listen to the lyrics

18. Here With Me - Dido
I first heard this song in the movie Love Actually…the situation was that the guy just confessed his love to a girl who happens to be his best friend’s wife and I felt this song suited it.

Oh I am what I am
I’ll do what I want
But I can’t hide
I won’t go
I won’t sleep
I can’t breathe
Until you’re resting here with me
I won’t leave
I can’t hide
I cannot be
Until you’re resting here with me
Anyway I reccommend anyone to watch that movie…it’s really the sweetest love movie ever…especially during Christmas time

19. Amazed - Duncan James
I like the new Duncan James version better than the original one…for some reason.

20. Crying in the Rain -  Everly Brothers
There was a chinese cover verson of this song by the Taiwanese group 5566…but i’ll take the english one anytime

21. There You’ll Be - Faith Hill
I just love this song….and I think you should watch the movie too (Pearl Harbour) It made me cry

22. Say It Isn’t So - Gareth Gates
This was released a few years back…the video is kinda sad too

23. Too Serious Too Soon - Gareth Gates
It’s been a rainy afternoon
Now I’m staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious too soon

24. What My Heart Wants To Say - Gareth Gates
Very sweet lyrics…(at least to me)
If the words don’t come my way
Hope you still know
Hope it still shows
If the words don’t come my way
Hope you still know
What my heart wants to say

25. The One You Love - Glenn Fredly (Eagles)
There was a time where I was so crazy over this song…I kept repeating it over and over again. Lyrics are good…
Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you?
Or are you going back to the one you love?
Someone’s gonna cry when the thought they lost you
Someone’s gonna thank the stars above

26. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
This song’s very well known…as a sad song

27. Ghost Of You - Good Charlotte
I’ve taken a sudden liking towards Good Charlotte’s songs…this is one of my favourites

A ghost of you
is all that I have left
is all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find there’s no one there but me
and nothing left of what we were at all

28. Hold On - Good Charlotte
This song keeps you holding on…

29. We Believe - Good Charlotte
Good songs with good lyrics

30. Time Of Your Life (Good Riddance) - Green Day
I absolutely love Green Day…

31. Macy’s Day Parade - Green Day
A friend of mine asked me to listen to this song and I immediately got hooked to it… Sad lyrics

32. Jesus Of Suburbia - Green Day
Quite popular too…as a sad song… Understand the lyrics

33. Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
This song became quite famous so you won’t actually consider it to sound sad… But listen to the lyrics…

34. Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day
Sad song…and the video too… I didn’t actually cry after watching the video…but my eyes got kinda teary

35. Who Painted The Moon Black - Hayley Westenra
An old song…i think it’s played quite often on radios

36. The Reason - Hoobastank
This song reminds me of something I had some time ago…

37. Look What You’ve Done - Jet
Slow, sad song

38. Last Christmas - The Beatles/Wham/Jimmy Eat World
This song has several versions…I personally prefer the Wham version…

39. Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World
A song I’ve just discovered recently… Quite moving…

      May angels lead you in
      Hear you me my friends
      On sleepless roads the sleepless go
      May angels lead you in

40. I Love You Came Too Late - Joe/Joey McIntyre
Joey McIntyre has several other songs that are not that bad… Try listening to them..

 Okay…there’s a list of only 40 songs…I’ll continue them tomorrow or later… Gotta go to bed now…
By the way..these songs are what I consider sad…it might not be sad in you opinion…

However, hope you enjoyed it…!!! It always good to let it out… And yeah…there’s this other song… It’s Okay To Cry by Amanda Wilkinson… I found it by accident and I reccomend it to anyone having a bad day…