I am anuptaphobic…
I just realise this. I am anuptaphobic. Though it’s not that bad…I don’t really have any of the symtoms stated. Maybe occasionally yes. But this is the closest thing to what I am feeling. Anuptaphobia is the fear of staying single. I’ve been having this for a long time and I didn’t really realise it till now. I don’t know but…I just can’t…I mean I don’t know how to enjoy being single. When you are single you tend to fall for more people easier and faster. It starts quickly and ends quickly and most of the time you get rejected. I just hate this feeling. The feeling of being alone. That there’s no one there for you to hug when you need one. There’s no one who can comfort you when you need it. I don’t know. Why am I like this? It’s really suffering. I know I’m being a little emotional today but I just can’t help it. Maybe….maybe…it’s just PMS. *sigh* God, I feel terrible…I don’t feel happy. My heart’s all heavy…like it’s carrying a huge burden. Like the feeling you get when you worry so badly about something and it’s weighing you down. I know it’s only been a few months and I can’t really complain but still…the feeling…it’s like it’s been years. Why can’t I just be carefree and not such a……I don’t know. *sigh* Maybe I should just pamper myself with chocolates…. No, I can’t do that…it’ll ruin my diet. Argh….I neeeeeeed some distraction. I need to be distracted from all…..this. What can I do? There’s nothing for me to do. TV, movies, games…I’ve done that all. But it doesn’t lasts. I’ll feel sad again after it all ends. So what’s the best solution? Focus on people of the same sex? Make a vow of lifelong celibacy? End this miserable life of mine? Start being a polygamist? Hmm…all doesn’t seem to be do-able (at least by me) . *sigh* (again) Maybe this will just pass by …over time.
Shopping again!!
Anyway, guess what? I went shopping yesterday again!!! And this time…man i shopped alot. I bought four shorts, one skirt, and eight tops. Don’t ask me how much was it. But i went with my mom…so she paid. Hehe.
I’ve got pretty dark, by the way. Since that day in Sunway…i’m really tan now. But i kinda like it. It’s better than pale white skin. It looks healthier now.
So, my new clothes. I’ve gotten some clothes that i’ve never worn before. I decided that i should try wearing different kinds of clothes.So i got this apple green halter top from Soda. Most of the clothes i bought were from Soda, Applemint and Voir. Then there’s this blue sleeveless top with little sequins…shows a little cleavage…not too much though. Haha. Next, there’s this pair of shorts that i absolutely adore. I don’t know how to describe it. But it’s light khaki colour and has frayed edges. It’s a little loose for me…but there wasn’t any smaller sizes left. And then there’s this green pair of shorts. I got it from Voir. It matches my apple green halter top. And i could wear my bright green sneakers with it too. There’s too much to describe. I’ll take pics if i can. Anyway here’s a song that i kinda like right now.
MARIO VAZQUEZ LYRICS
"Gallery"
God broke the mould when he made this one I know
She’s breath-taking but so much more
She walks in the room, your lungs close
Making you never wanna breathe again
Her boyfriend has got so much dough
So much ice his neck and wrists froze
Is he faithful to her, hell no
But she chose to be with him, shorty
Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what’s the reason that you hold on
When you know that dude
Has a whole wall of them just like you
And girl you just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind girl
Use you mind, don’t be just another dime
Because
I can’t take
Seeing you with him
Cause I know exactly what you be
In his gallery
Just not fair
And it’s tearing me apart
You’re just another priceless work of art
In his gallery
She so confused
She knows she deserves more
Someone who will love and adore
But his money’s hard to ignore
She really doesn’t know what to do
Girl it’s just a matter of time
Before he finds another more fine
After his done dulling your shine
You out the door and his through with you
Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what’s the reason that you hold on
When you know that dude
Has a whole wall of them just like you
And girl you just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind girl
Use you mind, don’t be just another dime
I can’t take
Seeing you with him
Cause I know exactly what you be
In his gallery
Just not fair
And it’s tearing me apart
You’re just another priceless work of art
In his gallery
You’re a masterpiece, I know that he
Can’t appreciate your beauty
Don’t let him cheapen you
He don’t see you like I do
Beautiful not just for show
It’s time that someone let you know…
I can’t take
Seeing you with him
Cause I know exactly what you be
In his gallery
Just not fair
And it’s tearing me apart
You’re just another priceless work of art
I can’t take
Seeing you with him
Cause I know exactly what you be
In his gallery
Just not fair
And it’s tearing me apart
You’re just another priceless work of art
In his gallery
In his gallery
